The reviews are in on Team USA’s Sochi Opening Ceremony outfits designed by Ralph Lauren: not good. But wait! At least they were made in America this time (the 2012 outfits were outsourced to China). Not that the 2012 outfits, also designed by Ralph Lauren, received better reviews. One Time Magazine reporter put it: “the outfits are downright ugly and an embarrassment to U.S. Olympians.” When it comes to 2014, I say judge for yourself:
I mean, the sketch doesn’t seem so bad, something just seems to have gone wrong in executing the vision. In fairness, we can’t expect our athletes to look all dapper and chic. It is winter, and it is Russia. And, if Valdimir Putin had designed them, Team USA would almost certainly be going shirtless. Wool cardigans > bare chest.
But then again, maybe Putin is onto something, as the wool cardigans likely won’t even be necessary. Sochi may be the least winter-y part of all Russia. I’m sure you’ve heard about the palm trees …
Okay, enough disparaging Mr. Lauren and his commendable effort at originality using just three colors. Instead, let’s take a look at his competition. First, the Norwegian curling team:
These guys have got a sense of humor. It’s one of those “it’s so bad its funny” sort of get-ups. The purpose is to be attention grabbing. And I mean, it’s curling – you have to get the girls somehow.
Unfortunately for the Norwegians, they’ve got nothing on the Mexicans. That’s right, Mexico is sliding in with perhaps this year’s most awesome get-up ever: the Mariachi ski onesie.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is not a joke. This is for real, and it should give you a reason to watch the Olympics, even if you’re one of those people who claims not to like them.
Want more? Here is a gallery of the best and worst Olympic outfits of 2012.
Finally, even though Team USA looks like they’re going to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party, we shouldn’t hold that against them. In fact, get yourself some red, white and blue swag and cheer on the USA. I prefer beanies. #BeatChina